The edge of our reality can end
where our vision sees no longer
the man or woman growing older
becoming invisible as though
swallowed up in the mist
a dense fog masquerading
as a wall forthwith the
door is closed
They are forgotten are they not
beyond the noise and bustle
of the cities they once
inhabited, sustained to
hold strong protecting
those young and growing
until the tie then
is thus broken
Then they are contained inside
four walls of the homes
we have banished them to
as they wait in lonely rooms
long hallways where signs
saying exit are never
meant for them
but only for us
Their tears of despair turning
to fear and anger toward those
who leave them there to
languish with strangers
who do not know them
who only change bed sheets
give medication unknown
then turn to go
They will find no solace here
amidst disinfectant where
even germs are not wanted
they cannot find the warmth
of their own bed, the safety
of familiar things
for the edge of their reality
diminishes in the sea of ours
Ā© May 2016
Renee Espriu
Image Taken & Digitized by Myself
My father went missing some three to four years ago now but we were fortunate. My sister who lives with him did not wait long and sent someone to look for him, even though the police did not consider him missing. The allotted time was not up. Now we have the newest thing, the ‘Silver Alert’, to look for the elderly amongst us who turn up missing every day.
Recently, my uncle and my father’s brother, also went missing. His family did not look but waited until a ‘Silver Alert’ was in place. After four days they found him in a church parking lot in his truck waiting for help. At 94 years of age, he was known to be in good health. But his adult children are too busy with their lives to consider him and knew nothing of their father’s well being nor did they keep in touch often enough to know if he was alright. He is now in the hospital, a shadow of his former self, prior to having gone missing. His children have finally come but we believe, to only say their good-byes.
In our Western society, convalescent homes have become the norm, a place in which to put our growing older population because there is no longer time for them. In certain circumstances this might be an option but in so many cases, families simply do not know what to do with their elders when they become frail, in poor health or have various stages of memory loss.
My uncle could have more time even beyond his 94yrs but his adult children have been raised in a society to not see beyond the option of a place where someone else will care for them. My sister has difficulty understanding it but in reality it is yet, another system in our society, that is flawed and that leaves us still with more questions than answers. I feel compelled to write this for him, Hector Dickens, who now no longer has a voice in his life.
Ironic, one might say, how the words beckon us to convey a message and how life comes full circle in the saying of them. My uncle passed away this morning, perhaps even as I wrote the above words. He will be missed.
reneejustturtleflight.com 
We now live in a throw-away society and that includes people. Sad, frustrating, disgusting. Great post!
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Thank you. I am not one to wave a banner but due to the nature of what happened here and my cousins’ outward appearance of being so removed, I felt I needed to say something. Yes, we do live in such a society where discarding things, even our elderly, has become the norm.
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How very sad and tragic, my condolences to the family ~ I believe in showing by example, that is taking care of our parents and being kind to them, so the young ones see that this is the better way ~
Hope you are well ~
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Thank You! My dad is the one brother remaining of the four. I am fortunate that my sister is vigilant in his care.
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Such a sad poignant poem dear Renee and my thoughts are with you in your
Uncles loss.. Yes it is so sad how so often elders are forgotten, and how we forget that they too once had full purposeful lives, giving their all to bring up the very same children that desert them when they need them the most..
I may have told you before How for several years my husband and his siblings took it in turn to nurse and care for their ageing parents who were vulnerable.. My hubby would travel a 70mile journey every week to spend the night shift awake to return home to do a full days work when his sisters would come in as they took it all in turns.. Until they both had places together in a home.. Where we would travel often to see them..
Sad how families disengage and no longer seem to look after the elderly.. A sad fact of todays modern living where work, possessions, etc are put first before family bonds..
Love and thoughts are with you and your family dear Renee.
Sue xxx
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I cannot be at all certain of the closeness or lack of regarding my uncle and cousins. But it seems he lived alone and they were not in contact very often. In any case, our society is indeed, a ‘throw away’ society and speaks of what progress can do. Thank You! xoxo
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yes its seems People are also thrown upon the heap when they have finished their usfulness… My heart is with you xx Love Sue
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Just noticed your ‘like’ of my comment so thought to send you a quick note to let you know I am doing much better and still working on my book. Having a bit of a ‘heat wave’ here. Hope you are well. xoxox
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Your poem and story are so poignant and sad. Science allows people to live longer- but as a burden to their busy families now who will shuttle them off to state run care facilities. We’ve lost something here.I’m glad they found your dad and am very sorry about your uncle.
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It is our Western society that has made such flawed systems as convalescent homes and such. In Europe families in many countries still take care of their elders but here families have become distant from one another so old ways no longer seem to work…or so societal norms would dictate they do not. It is unfortunate for my uncle but fortunate for my father that my sister and myself do not believe in the flawed system. Thank you for your comment.
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so true and you are so welcome!
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Good to know you are doing Ok Renee, and working upon your book.. That is wonderful.. I really should take a leaf out of your ‘Book’ and put all of my poems together in book form .. Something for my Granddaughter to read later in life maybe. š
And yes we are having a heatwave here too now.. š haha… such is the weather, so changable..
Hugs to you dear Renee.. xxx
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Your granddaughter would be so fortunate to receive such a gift as your words given to her. It would be a most wonderful thing that you would do. xoxo
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Many thanks dear friend _/\_ xxx
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I personally work in a Nursing Home atmosphere, too many people lie there day after day and never get any visitors, I realize I may be the only one they see for days or months, I attempt to give them encouragement, strength and hope. Don’t forget your loved ones…
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When there are those of us who want to make it a better place for them, in the event, they are there…then that is a good thing. I am sure they appreciate you all the more.
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So very sorry for the loss of your uncle, Renee. I really feel bad for him as it appears that he was alone and perhaps lonely much of the time in his elder years. People are too busy these days with who knows what that takes their attention away from what is important in life. But maybe he had become unimportant to them in his old age. Heartless but true in many cases. I just sent you an email tonight regarding my own mother’s health. I’ll let you read it rather than go into it here.
Hugs…
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When my father went missing my sister called the police right away and when their help was not forthcoming had her husband (even though they are separated) go looking for dad. He was not missing near as long and the outcome much better. Hugs as well
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I am so sorry for the loss of your uncle. His story is too often the common end for those like him. Your poem captures that world well and the last two lines are very powerful. Sadly, some cannot face the frailty of old age in others when they are no longer themselves and unable to take care of themselves. Some are fortunate to have families that still care for them. I will enjoy exploring your blog!
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My dad is the only one of four sons left, although he still has his two younger sisters. My uncle was fortunate to be sharp minded until the last but as you say, some cannot cope with taking care of an elderly parent. He was not in the hospital long and for that I am grateful. My own grandmother suffered a lengthy time many years ago now and it was something I believed then should change as I do now. Thank you for your comment.
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