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thunder in the distance
a train moving
down the tracks
metal grating
against metal
creating
hieroglyphic maps
or is it storm clouds
black and angry
when life is
at our back
raising doubts
that squelch
the laughter
when everything after
can only be thunder
or the rumble
of an unrequited earth
giving birth
to yet another
mountain or is it
only a waterfall in a
distant forest
raising its’
voice in chorus
and we hear it as
thunder in the distance
creating refuge
from an
incendiary past
always keep in mind that
just beyond our
quiet solitude
whether real or an
imaginary cast
there will always be
thunder in the distance
waking us to the
reality of
life
© July 2013
Renee Espriu
reneejustturtleflight.com 
smiles..i like the refuge you make in the waterfall…the heiroglyphs in that first stanza are a very cool touch as well…i like how you take us down then up in this…and nice wisdom in the end too..smiles.
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Thanks Brian! Smiles.
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Thunder in the distance, an ever looming presence sometimes. Well done!
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Thank you Shanyn and for your visit.
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I like me the way it runs, changing back and forth between the train and thunder and then the waterfall.
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Thank you and for your visit.
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I like the imagery of earth giving birth and the forest raising its voices ~ The sounds are also well done ~
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Thanks Grace! Somehow I thought the sound should be tied into more than one image so I’m glad it came together.
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ah yes…there will always be thunder somewhere around us…good to have a safe refuge then…and i like the waterfall image..
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Thanks Claudia! I so love waterfalls and will never tire of them.
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Great use of words, the similarity of the train to thunder creates great imagery.
Ian
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Thanks Ian!
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Like how you create the stressful threat. with the repetition and the beat in this poem. great piece
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Thanks Bjorn! I am not certain when writing some pieces so glad this struck a chord after all.
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The truncated lines and enjambment drive the atmosphere of menace and breathlessness. It left me with a sense of the warning that you leave us with at the end. The subject and structure also speak to the fragility of life, the thin veil between what’s in front of us and what lies beyond. You use your tools well to create the mood.
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Thank you Anna! I had no idea I accomplished so much but it seems once I began I had to keep going and the words were simply there. I am happy that you liked this piece.
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Loved the hieroglyphs, Renee. Also, there is that sense that what’s around the corner might, on your quiet walk, be a life-changing event, hopefully for the better. Life catches you by the heel when you don’t expect it. Loved this poem, Renee. Amy
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Its the rain that makes us grow… loved your words and thinking on this one Renee…. We should all make the most of our Blue skies in life.. for like you say the Thunder lurks over the hill… Speaking of which we have had the most terrible thunderstorms last week… causing floods and chaos as a thunderbolt hit a town next to ours and damaged 2 homes and set a car on fire.. Lucky no one was hurt..
Raining today, but we have had the most glorious summer this year, making up for all the rain last year…
xxx Sue
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Well, I do hope there will be more sun to come for you, if even briefly, as it is so healing. Also, hope your garden is doing well and that you have lots to show for your hard work. Thank You!
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