Prisms of Life

Thousands of raindrops falling
are like tiny clear crystals
jewels upon my window
where I see

my life unfold in mirrored images
a kaleidoscope  of dismal greys
not yet transformed
into rainbows
of colors

not yet penetrating my soul
the very spirit of my being
collecting like shattered glass
beneath my feet

my life will transform into something
manifest as colored prisms within
the kaleidoscope’s hidden
brilliant colored
light

a revelation of a loving heart
long sleeping inside the pain
of living in fear of knowing
of feeling alive

for as the images change amongst
the shards of broken glass
they must also within
the turning kaleidoscope
of colors

images change in all Seasons
spring flowers bloom abundantly
tender leaves of bright green unfurl
birdsong and insects serenade

summer dry and hot in all manner
relishing a soothing drink of water
touching landscapes brown to then

bringing fall’s brilliant colors
of reds, golds, yellows and orange
foliage turning brown and brittle
welcoming cold of winter

so spring returns to flourish
to bring life new yet already
here thriving beneath the safety
the warmth of moss and soil
always living in
hibernation

so all is alive within my spirit
hidden within smoldering embers
waiting to emerge
relishing the
breath of life

© November 2019 Renee Espriu

Photo Taken From Public Domain Pictures & Created As Art

All The Wonder

Light reveals as much as we allow it to
when we open not only our eyes
but our heart

then our spirit soars and life
takes on new meaning

where colors are no longer dull
in shades of gray
but filtered brilliance

as in a rainbow after
a storm

it opens up a place deep
within our soul

big enough to hold all
of the wonder

where there are no boundaries
this place is us
me and you

this place is where life
flourishes

this is where I can begin
to know and accept
who I am

© September 2019 Renee Espriu

Image Below Taken From Public Domain Pictures & Created As Art

The Alchemy of Water

Music swells up like mighty ocean waves
cleansing the sadness of my soul
permeating my thoughts
to quell the firestorm
within my mind

to which my dreams find me walking
along a sandy tided shore
each grain of sand sparkling
diamonds in a beam
of moonlight

a vestige matching my footprints
each one a solid reflection
of a path only I have walked
in heartache, despair
& triumph

before the salty brine of tides
comes to collect them again
to assuage each painful step
becoming an alchemist balm
a freeing spirit

© August 2019 Renee Espriu
Photo Taken From Public Domain Pictures & Created As Art

Beyond Affairs of The Heart

Once someone told me
I was not done having affairs
I surmised its meaning
a human touch of warmth
as felt in dreams fleeting

yet years watched me falter
confused with sightless eyes
though clear with seeing
trapped me as blindness nigh

looking beyond lackluster need
striving toward pleasing
to win acceptance
in uncertainty

in platitudes shown vaguely thin
rooted amid trivial detritus
I stepped into an empty life
always out of reach
in plaintive din

I clearly discovered as late
the affairs of life I sought
walked alongside me
each step taken
each breath
of naught

are not affairs of the human kind
nor affairs of a heart of flesh
but an affair of a desperate need
to create missives with words
of light and breadth

that require none but my own
masked eyes to open and see
to cause my own spirit to soar
giving respite to my soul
without fear
nothing more

© February 2019 Renee Espriu

Image Taken From Public Domain Pictures & Created As Art

Beyond Affairs

Dreaming of Change

Dreams live within our sleeping hours
touching our waking time
some slightly caressing
barely touching

while others create undulating pain
creating harbingers of fear
of longing and want

all innately attached to spirits
woven tightly inside our souls
like tiny invisible creatures
tugging and pulling
this way
and that

whispering changes in our ears
then shouting in our faces
when we refuse to hear

leveling the playing ground
like a bulldozer
passing through

for change always prevails
beginning as a dream
touching our skin
like a wisp of breeze

© February 2019 Renee Espriu

Photo Taken From Public Domain Pictures & Created As Art

Changes and Dreams

Memories Dying Embers

Memory Illusive

I see you tangibly close beside me
laughter still within you
a smile on your face

do you still see me here & now
or a trace of a girl dancing

brevity of memories hinting at life
shared with children…with her

do you know she is gone traveling
with the moon & stars in heaven

I see you tangibly close beside me
laughter still within you
a smile on your face

do you know your time has shifted
as the sands within the tides

ensnaring the memories you captured
now scattered fragments of light

still your eyes embrace her once more
a cherished resemblance of me

wisps of years gone encircling you
briefly in moments & then vanishing

I see you tangibly close beside me
laughter still within you
a smile on your face

the embers are still glowing brightly
not ready to engage in dying

I know your spirit still resides within
I know there still is you smiling

© December 2017 Renee Espriu

Anna’s Christmas Spirit … a short story

 

Anna's Spirit

Ella is sifting through her belongings again. She is trying to discern what items to give away, what items to simply recycle as no longer being useful. As she sorts things into piles she comes across an item that only sees the light of day once a year. This particular item has never been used.

The envelope is thin, yellowed and brittle, no longer closes and holds calendars of many years’ past.  These are her Great Aunt Anna’s Advent Calendars. They had been shipped to Anna from Anna’s cousin Regina. They cost little more than a dollar then and,  per the enclosed information, the proceeds had gone to research for the Epilepsy Association of America. The smaller business was called “Little Christmas Town”. This business imported Advent Calendars made in Germany.

She had opened these small aged Advent Calendars before but had always put them back within their fragile envelope home. One of Ella’s small legacies from Anna. Each calendar holding a snowy scenic Christmas town where windows and doors opened to reveal magical scenes of another bygone era . Their beauty warmed her heart. Something more visual of a time past. Something more than Anna’s school book and her Lutheran Hymnal, both written in German, of which Ella also had in her keeping. She knew Anna’s family had emigrated here from Germany generations before the ember of life was lit within her. This year she paused, hesitated, was reluctant to put them away again.

The Winter season had been very rainy and wet. One storm after another buffeted her door step as though in doing so it would gain entry, the winds driving it down in soaked blankets. Nature might appreciate the weather’s efforts at an attempt to beautify the outdoors but Ella could not. She never reconciled with Winter and unfortunately, Winter was the holiday season. This year all her sense of reason had simply vanished…vanished and was swallowed up by the long cold, wet days of unrelenting dampness. It seemed to be especially difficult this year. Ella’s heart seemed dark, sad, devoid of joy and happiness. The colors had drained from life, seeping from any object she set her eyes upon. It was like peering through a murky gray that lurks in sludge filled water. Visibility was nil. She needed something to lift her spirits. Memories of Anna began to spark. Little ones at first. Then gradually they became something more.

She was a young girl the very first time she met her. Her mother didn’t speak highly of Anna. She only would say that her aunt had rented to her and Ella’s father before she was born. A little house just right for newlyweds. But her mother was certain Anna had come into the house upon their absence to nose about. She would only say that Anna’s German roots precluded her to being so. Anna seemed tethered to always being right, being stubborn, being a woman of order and mostly a woman who liked to be in control. Ella had never met Anna so was only prepared for the worse. Yet,  Anna couldn’t be any worse than  her mother.  A woman of similar tendenacies coupled with a voracious temper.

It was before Christmas and for reasons Ella could not really understand, her mother had decided they should visit Anna. They went of an evening in the ’52 Ford her dad affectionately called Betsy. The night was clear and the Christmas lights twinkled, as though winking at her through the car window and as they passed their colors lighted up the night sky. She knew her aunt lived in the big city of Los Angeles but had never been there. The house Anna lived in was not big and looked much like most of the homes on the street where she lived. Her father parked the car by the curb and she followed her mother to the door.

Anna answered and seemed genuinely happy to see them. Her husband had died years before and she had no children of her own. Ella surmised that her aunt must be lonely. She wore a simple plain cotton dress, buttons on the top, short sleeves, a belt at the waist and sturdy black shoes with heals on her feet. Her hair that showed signs of graying was pulled up in a bun at the nape of her neck and she wore glasses. To Ella, she didn’t seem stern or stubborn but upon entering her house, she could tell Anna was a woman of order. There wasn’t a speck of dust to be found as far as she could tell. Introductions were made by her mother and Ella settled down, as she knew she should, to wait until the visit was over. She was surprised when Anna asked her to come to her as she sat in her chair in the living room. She hesitated but approached her as she was asked to do.

Anna asked her if she would like to learn numbers in German. Ella, always curious, tentatively nodded her head. Her aunt pulled her close and holding up two fingers, she began to walk her two fingers up Ella’s arm. With each step her fingers took her aunt counted…eins, zwei, drei, vier, funf, sechs, sieben, acht, neun, zehn. She stopped, looked into Ella’s small face, reached up and pulled Ella’s ear lobe. Ella was in awe and when she smiled at Anna, the game proceeded once more. After a few times, Anna encouraged Ella to mimic each number after she spoke it and Ella did. She would never see Anna again but the memory held fast as though etched in place and in time.

When Ella’s first granddaughter was small, she would play the same game with her, walking two fingers up her arm to end ringing the doorbell by pulling her ear lobe. Her granddaughter could not manage to imitate her nor speak the numbers in German but always the smile did appear. Each time Ella was enchanted and always Anna was near.

So, on this day, rather than tuck the Advent Calendars away for yet another year, she chose one. She would open each small window, each small door and look at every number, especially the ones she knew in German….one through ten… and would think of Anna. Now she had something to look forward to and the colors of her life began to transmute from their formidable gray into the bright colors of the holidays, like the twinkling bright lights that winked at her through the window of the car on a holiday night many years ago. Now, she had Anna’s Christmas Spirit with her and knew she was not alone.  She knew that the Christmas Spirit can be found in the most unlikeliest of places.

© December 2017 Renee Espriu

I have written short stories on my site in the past, which are under the heading above, but have not added one for some years now. The above story is based on some fact but has been written as creative fiction. I do hope everyone has a holiday season filled with peace. The photo above is mine which I digitally altered just a little.

A Magical Dance

See the youth that resides within me
mirrored dark curls framing a woman’s
face who now breathes easier

not often the case when questions curled
like a hazy halo of smokey confusion
within my days and nights

watch me convey knowledge soul filled
now a sign of experiential vibrant color
a glowing gold not in the guise
of youth’s vanity

see my spirit soar within mirrored eyes
clear as mountain spring waters
seeing deep as ocean valleys
thunderous as waterfalls

filling crystal clear rivers running swift
choreographed with a magical dance
of a sprite or fairy or two

© October 2017 Renee Espriu

This is in response to Jamie Dede’s Wednesday Prompt. Read more at her site on
https://jamiededes.com/2017/10/11/once-upon-a-time-when-they-were-old-a-poem-and-your-wednesday-writing-prompt. The image was taken from Public Domain Pictures and digitally altered by myself.

Dance of a Fairy

An Infinity of Stars Woven

Within the landscape of time are
the shadows of war residing
casting doubts of fear
over hope filled integrity

for if I could but ease the pain
& erase the memory of horror
that slices through hearts
once laden with joy
I would

but there will always be those
who seek righteousness loaded
with weapons of destruction
their efforts devoid
of compassion

and soldiers who participate
on the battlefields of wars
whether at home or across seas
will carry scars always

and if it were possible within
me as a wordsmith to pen a poem
of salve and healing
I would

so that children may once again play
on peaceful soil under watchful eyes
of mothers and fathers
who can rest assured
of a tomorrow

filled with the spirit of love
& that fireworks will be celebration
& not the deafening voices
of bombs falling

for my soul cannot rest within me
until the vision of the universe
is the essence of peace shining
like an infinity of stars

the threads of woven fabric
like none that has ever been made
containing naught of the shadows of war
but a humanity of peacemakers
the gardeners sowing
seeds for the
future

© August 2017 Renee Espriu

This is in response to Jamie Dedes’s Wednesday Prompt. Please read more poets responses at https://jamiededes.com/2017/08/09/do-not-make-war-a-poem-and-your-wednesday-writing-prompt. The photo below was taken from the Morgue File and digitally altered by myself.

Field of Peacemakers

***Spring Beckons***

The birds tremble in the cold morning air
wings flutter beneath the leafy boughs

the air is shot through with bird song
like tiny meteorites dancing in the sky

reminding me that the warmth of Spring
beckons in tiny increments of beauty

as the small pink flowers of succulents
peek out smiling with miniature faces

the tiniest flowers of heather in bloom
for weeks despite the daunting cold

for each morning the bird song’s chorus
awakens me and gives my spirit wings

© February 2017 Renee Espriu

Photo Taken From Public Domain Pictures & Digitized by Myself

song-bird