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she stood very still
behind the building
breathing steadily with
her heart pounding
loud inside her ears
and she waited
she didn’t like school
no one noticed her as
she simply walked to
the end of the hallway
so she could get away
and she ran
she kept running until
she was here just past
the last classrooms
the playground where
the big kids played
and she stopped
what to do, where to go
would they look for her
she was in trouble
hours now it must be
but no one came to see
and she was alone
she decided to go back
back across the empty
asphalt playground
back to the building
classroom and back
down the hallway
just as she arrived
tired and scared
the teacher was calling
all the kids in as
though she never left
and was always there
© February 2013
Renee Espriu
When you are five years old and decide to make your escape from Kindergarten the world becomes a very big place. To this day I’m not sure they knew I had gone.
This is for dVerse Poets Pub at at http://dversepoets.com/tag/memory/
reneejustturtleflight.com 
ugh…no one noticed…i think that left the biggest scar you know…but dang pretty ingenuitive for a kindergartener…to escape…and even then to decide to go back and not escape further…alone though is hard…
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I felt torn with wanting someone to come find me and knowing that if they knew I had left I might really get into trouble. The thought of getting into trouble won out and so I went back. Thanks Brian!
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To enter oblivion when you are present is tragic. Great poem, Renee 🙂
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I was only five but very bold for my age so thought I really could leave and somehow get home. That was not the case, though. I learning experience for sure. Thanks Subhan!
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Very funny! I kind of lost myself and was rooting for her to escape, and then no one even noticed that she had gone.
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oh my…i can imagine how big the world becomes in moments like this esp. and so disappointing that no one noticed you were gone..
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By the time I got to that last building I think it felt as though I was on some other planet or something but really, getting back didn’t take near as long. I so understand why children have no sense of time. I certainly didn’t. Thanks Claudia!
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my goodness, thankfully nothing happened and it was just a break from school ~ it was sad though that no one noticed you were absent ~
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That was me in school, and I learned to be invisible so well. Even now I know how. Great write, took me back to school. And then let me escape again!
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Thanks for visiting! It’s how I was in school. I was a book worm somewhat and not very social, hence, the label ‘Wall Flower” rather suited me. Glad you liked the journey.
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You dragged me right in to her feeling of desperation and fear…and aloneness. I like your use of the 3rd person, Renee.
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Thanks Victoria! I always wondered why my one son would wander off the way he did…well, I didn’t wander often but yes, I did sometimes.
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i think the swings would have called me. airborne oblivion
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Thanks Lucy! Although I would like to think it was the ‘big kids’ playground’ that drew me away, it was really that I did not like being in school. LOL
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Oh, the agony you must have gone through only to find you’d not yet been missed… you were very brave.
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Not sure I was brave, Laurie, or just a little girl that thought she could do more than she really could. I never tried it again, though. I was rather lucky I made it back without getting lost. Thank you for visiting.
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Oh, I can just imagine the tense feelings you experienced in making your break. Surely this was a great risk for you to take at five years of age. Nicely done.
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Thank you Eusebia and for visiting. I guess, in my mind, I have always felt I could take on the world, when in reality I really am a more solitary individual. My words are my greatest asset.
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I never ran away, but I roamed the countryside from daylight to dusk trying to escape some of the harshness of home.
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Thanks Susie. Running away from Kindergarten was as ever close that I got to running away from home, although I thought of it many times. I lived in the city so there wasn’t really anywhere to go. I am glad, for you, that you had the countryside to go to.
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…living in a world like you’re not living for noone notice your existence is really tough… or maybe it was just you who separates self to others… whatever it is, you needed to work both on your inner & outer self or rather start believing you exist & have confidence… sometimes it is ’em…but most of the time it is just us who create an invisible box where we can hide away from reality… we are not bound to live & die inside the box so go out & feel the soil under your feet… escaping is not a cure to lonely soul.. smiles…
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Thank for you comment and for visiting. Even at the age of five I was beginning the journey of finding my own way.
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Dear Renee,
I used to run away all the time, from home, complete with sack of clothes at end of a stick. My Mum would laugh it off.
I was quite the dramatic first-born leading play acting and plots with cousins and siblings.
When I was five, I was in Australia, and my memory of that time is often vague..but I do remember snapshots, like this…bits of the curtain, the laundry room, and Mrs Susanski.
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Thanks Nino and for visiting. I don’t get to your site often enough and have always found it a joy when I do. You have had a very interesting life, I can see that, and am happy that you can share it with so many.
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Came to find your entry to dVerse, Renee, since I had been gone. Happy to see you joined in. I can so relate to what you wrote but it brought up sad memories for me. I too was a “Wallflower” and bookworm…so, so shy and never liked being in school. I didn’t much like being at home either and remember climbing up in a tree one day and sitting there for hours and thinking I wouldn’t go home…and then wouldn’t they be sorry… Finally climbed down and went home..no one ever knowing I was gone or knowing what I was thinking or feeling.
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Thank you Gayle! I see we connect on more than I had first thought. Perhaps growing up in the same era would account for some of it. I do hope you are feeling better and that test results come back ok. Take Care!
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Yes, maybe growing up during that time had something to do with it. Of my five brothers and sisters, I seem to be the most shy…although nothing now like when I was a child. 🙂 I’m feeling so much better…thank you. Get test results Thursday.
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