The specter of the wolf
follows her wherever she
walks, a shadow to her
every waking moment he
waits until she stumbles
Waiting, Waiting, Waiting
Falling prey upon her as
she struggles to find
her escape, to continue
upon her path the wolf
only vanquished in sleep
©July 2011 Renee Espriu
This is dedicated to my oldest daughter who is living with Lupus. Her particular kind of Lupus is Systemic Lupus Erythematosus where the body’s immune system attacks internal organs. There is no cause and no cure. The term lupus is Latin for wolf. I have posted a site to all who want to learn more.
reneejustturtleflight.com 
Renee, I like the suspense you built up in this piece, and the calm at the end. Nice one.
Pamela
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Well written words Renee, and given the reason for the poems invention I see now why the shadow is present within her every waking moment… Lupus I have only some little knowledge of, But I will look for the site you have posted to find out more…. X
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Thank you Sue and I do hope you will visit the Lupus site and learn more. So many people have little idea of this disease and I, myself, knew little until my daughter became ill. She is a mother now but still my Angel. Thankfully she had her children before being diagnosed or may have been cautioned against having them.
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HI Renee, I followed the links and found out more about Lupus, a very distressing disease which can take many forms affecting so many things.. I understand the problems of living with a chronic illness, and when the symptoms are not always visible how it can be difficult, as people do not always see the fatigue or pain.. I have Fibromyalgia but I am 100% better than what I was several years ago.. I did a lot of self healing with alternative therapies and now do regular Qui Gong and now have acupuncture to help pain relief every 3 weeks for the last 2 years which I can’t recommend enough as it has taken much of my pain levels down.. I am almost pain free unless I overwork my muscles. I send your Daughter my thoughts and I hope that she too finds relief and healing from this distressing disease… Sue
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It took the dotors five long years of telling me my problems were imagined, before that dastardly, sneaky disease, showed up in my blood and they eventually were able to tell me that I wasn’t ‘crazy’ after all, I did in fact have Lupus, SLE, and yes, not the discoid (skin) type but the systemic.
It can be such a problem at times because it mimics other diseases so well. My body takes on all kinds of weird and wonderful new allergies and it’s always accompanied by lots of muscle aches and bone pain. Add to that a broken tib & fib right across the ankle with a metal plate and screws to hold it all together and, early onset of osteoporosis, yes, Lupus is a nasty, nasty illness that zaps your energy and leaves you just as exhausted when you wake up as you were before you went to sleep.
This is why sometimes I write something and I know it’s spelled wrongly but my concentration is poor at the time and I can’t figure out where it’s spelled wrong but, know that it is. Early morning if I write comments to people before I’m fully awake, I may read over it and I see that I’ve made dreadful typos… LOL oh well.. none of us are perfect…lol
We all have to learn to ‘pace’ our days, I’m sure your daughter does too. My 15 year old mini monter being so hyper… wears me out~!
The prose is beautiful for something so dreadful. But yes, lupus/lupine, wolves, lovely.
Thanks for sharing and, visiting me.
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The telling of the tale is wonderful, yet tragic in the way the wolf seems seem to claim Misha. I pray for her daily and hope she moves in her life with courage and dignity that she never lets go of. She is forever hopeful, and this helps as she lives for her children and her family. Candy
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Your beutiful words express well how the wolf is always lurking and than attacks. How hard must it be for a mum too watch her fall prey. I wish you and your daughter all the strength in struggles to deal with it. A big hug and lots of love
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Thank you for visiting Marja and for your kind thoughts. She is a strong young woman and although life is hard for her she always thinks of others first. She is, indeed, my Angel.
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Renee, I didn’t know about your lupus, I’m so sorry. It’s one of those “pincushion” diseases, where one feels trapped on an episode of “House.” Twelve million rule-outs before they get it, and then almost by default.
The idea of the shadow always following, a spectre, is haunting and very effective. I knew about the Latin for “wolf,” but didn’t realize the sad truth until your addendum. You’re in my thoughts and prayers, always. Amy
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Hi Amy, Not to worry as I don’t have Lupus but just Fibromyalgia. It is my oldest daughter who has Lupus. She began getting ill at age 13, was diagnosed at age 23 and is now 33. Thank you for your kind words and prayers.
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My best friend from earlier years has Lupus … and it is a sad disease, but she approached it with the most positive outlooks … it has helped her manage it! Sending healing energies to your daughter and you!!
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Thank you Mom:) I love you dearly and you understand me clearly. I do live in the shadows, not only awaiting the wolf but hiding from the sun that clearly causes my disease activity to spike. What a journey we have been on. I live to show others strength! I love you!
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You are my Angel, always, and we will continue the journey and I pray you will remain strong as you are and show others how life can be lived.
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God bless your brave heart.
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that is so very unfair renee. life is cruel.
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