What You Believe by Renee Espriu 04/11/2011

We were taking our daily walk, Liz and I, just two old friends wading about in the same routine we had been entrenched in for years. The neighborhood seemed quiet enough today and that seemed to be more and more how it went lately. You couldn’t even hear the birds, or barely, making their musical chatter but quietly as even they understood that something was different here in our little town. Even people’s dogs hung back from the gates watching but not barking, yipping as they use to be prone to do. They, too, probably knew that it wasn’t wise to make too much of a commotion. We, too, were probably taking a chance to just be outside taking a walk but we had never been ones to adhere to social dictates, especially those that tread on the freedom of other people. That said, let me explain how it is now in our little town.

There was a time when we took our walk that you had to dodge children as they ran about and hoped you weren’t hit by a flying object such as a ball or the occasional frisbee but not now, not since the latest dictates of the rules of government which tell people what they can and can not do, what they can and can not say, and even when they can buy food, how much and when. It seemed every choice you once had and the freedom to make it were now written down on a list of dos and don’ts and they made people fear of what would happen if they didn’t strictly follow them. But it didn’t worry Liz and I too terribly much, really.

Liz and I were some of the oldest residents here and had seen it all. We had seen wars come and go, freedoms expanded and taken away and so quite frankly, we figured we were just in another of the times when ‘taking away’ seemed a good idea to the powers that be and soon that would change again. Things never stayed the same and we were use to change and knew that was the only thing that would be the same….change. But we didn’t invite problems and weren’t into taking risks. That’s why we were still here, still taking our walks through the same neighborhood we had raised children in. We watched families come and go as they raised their children and it was fine with us to watch. We weren’t like some people who liked to travel in airplanes or take trains across country or even worse, those who liked jumping out of airplanes or climbed mountains only to put skiis on and slide all the way down. Whatever for! It simply made no sense to make life shorter than it already is and life is really very short. So, here we were just taking it all in and enjoying our walk once again. But today would be different. I could just feel it.

We had made it down one side of the street and were crossing over to the other side when all of a sudden a woman came running as fast as lightening toward us. Well, of course, we stopped dead in our tracks as for sure we didn’t want to get run over and we didn’t want to get involved in someone else’s drama. As she came closer we noticed she was looking over her shoulder and that she was carrying, what looked to be, a loaf of bread in her arms. She looked panic stricken and was holding onto that loaf of bread as though it was her long lost child and she was going to protect it whatever the cost. Then she saw us and came right up to us and gave us the loaf of bread. “Please take it. My family needs food but I think he saw me and I don’t want him to follow me into my house.” With that, she ran up to the house on the corner, opened the door, went inside and was gone. Well, what to do?!?

I then saw at a distance a policeman coming rather quickly up the street on foot, looking this way and that, surely looking for the lady with the loaf of bread. We knew this wasn’t probably her designated day for shopping and quite frankly it wasn’t ours’ either. Liz seemed rather removed and when I asked her what I should do just shrugged her shoulders without saying a word. Some things never change between friends and that is one of them. Well, I saw a large hole in the yard and a boulder nearby and quickly deposited the bread, covering the hole with the boulder. Then Liz and I resumed our walk as though nothing had happened untoward out of the ordinary. Better to let sleeping dogs lie, as they say. But that didn’t happen today.

The policeman, that we had hoped did not see us or pay any mind to us, walked toward us. “Did you see a lady run by here with a loaf of bread?” Liz and I looked at each other with the best puzzled expressions we could muster and I said, “Why, no, officer. It’s just my friend and I here taking our daily walk. No one about that we noticed.” But he was having none of it. “I saw you over there putting something under that boulder and don’t tell me I didn’t. So, what did you put there? You both realize don’t you that it is against the law to buy food when it isn’t your day to shop and worse to take it from the store, don’t you?” “Why, yes, officer, we do and we never shop on a day we aren’t suppose to nor would we ever take anything from a store that doesn’t belong to us. Nooooo, we are law abiding citizens. Yes, we are, indeed.” Then he turned on his foot and went to the place I had hidden the loaf of bread. He gave us a look and moved the boulder. He once again turned on his food and came back to where we stood holding the loaf of bread in his hand.

“So, you don’t know anything about a lady coming through here with a loaf of bread, do you?” Once again I looked to Liz who just shrugged her shoulders. “I can explain, officer, really,” I said. He didn’t say anything for a moment nor did I and then, “I’m waiting and this better be good.” My heart was racing so fast I wouldn’t need to continue this walk today because as fast as it was racing it gave new meaning to cardio vascular. “Well, you see officer, there was a lady but she really didn’t say much, something about children and no food and such. I know we aren’t suppose to go shopping on a day that isn’t our designated day and I felt so sorry for her and all…” He just stood there staring at me and I could see ‘bars’ before my eyes and the headlines that read “Elderly Woman Steals Loaf of Bread and is Sentenced to Jail.” Why, I wouldn’t even travel on a plane so the thought of jail?!? I could feel myself breaking out in a cold sweat (and for a woman of my age that is saying something). “Anyway, I just couldn’t think of those poor children with no mother to feed them and knew she must have been very desperate to have done something so foolish, to take a risk like that. So, when I saw the hole it came to me I’d just put the loaf there and no one would be the wiser. Then those poor children would not go without their mother.” I was hoping he was going to fall for it but, really, even I was having a hard time believing what it was I was saying. But he seemed to be thinking about it all the same and we waited. In my mind I wondered what it would be like to wear handcuffs?!? Must be cold is all I could think of. Then he began to speak.

“Well, I’ll tell you what I’m going to do but only this one time and if you repeat any of this I will know where to find you.” I breathed a sigh of relief but only momentarily. He said, “I know what it’s like to go hungry when you’re a kid and wish my own mom would have done something like that lady did but she was too busy drinking so wouldn’t have known if I was hungry or not. Yeah, makes you wonder, doesn’t it. So, take this bread and go back there and give it to that lady and tell her I said I don’t want to catch her doing it again, for her own sake, mind you. Get my meaning?” “Oh, yes, we do, of course we do, officer. I will take it back directly and let her know. Thanks so much, officer. We appreciate what it is you do for our community, officer, and….” “That’s enough. Just take the bread and go.” I can get carried away sometimes. Well, when he handed me the bread there were two loaves there and I could have sworn there was one?!?. Well, I took them and off I went leaving Liz behind but Liz just turned and followed. Good ole’ Liz.

I made my way back to the house on the corner and knocked on the door and waited. I could see the blinds being slowing pulled down and someone’s eyes peeking out at me. I waived a little and said, “It’s alright. It’s just me, the lady you gave the bread to. The policeman is gone. No worries. I want to give you the bread.” Little by little the door opened, first a crack and then a little more and someone pulled me inside. It was a man, her husband I assumed, and when he went to take the bread the packages, at least to me, appeared empty! Well, you can just imagine how I felt. First there was one loaf and then there were two and now nothing but empty wrappers! I began to apologize profusely. “I am so sorry but I did have two loaves of bread here to give to you as I know your wife said you have a family and your kids are hungry and…” Well, it was all too much, really, and I began to cry (in a quiet subdued way, of course). But when he took the packages from me and I looked again, they were full and there were not only two loaves but three and he thanked me for my generosity as yes, his children were hungry. As I looked to my right there sat four children at the dining room table waiting quietly, listening, and being as patient as you could ever want children to be. Once again I tried to explain, telling him about the one loaf and then two loaves and no bread and he simply said, “It’s alright, really, as there are three loaves and that will help alot until it is our day to go shopping so no worries. You’ve been a great help.” I told him I simply did not understand and he looked at me and said, “It’s easy, really. It’s simply a matter of what you believe.”

Well, that was it. What else could I say. He opened the door, I stepped out into the sunshine and saw Liz waiting at the end of the walk. I walked up to her and looked at her and said, “Don’t you think this has been a very strange day?” She simply shrugged her shoulders and smiled and we continued on our walk.

© April 2011 Renee Espriu